Editor's Letter: Hello, my Name is PANIC!
I go back to school this wednesday to start my final year of high school. I have to admit, if someone gave me a name tag, it would read "Hello, my name is Panic!".
I feel as though I am somehow out of practice in the "School" department. My summer self is slowly being suffocated. At the very notion of lockers and assignments and public transportation and my first free period, I find myself crawling under my cool sheets and laying restless until the early hours of the morning.
Now that summer nights turn into school nights, routine is pushing itself into our lives, squeezing out any hope that was left for the wild nights we were supposed to share, and our bodies simply won't have it.
I should be heading back to something familiar, but all I sense is oblivion. I want no part of doing the same thing every day...WHERE IS THE ADVENTURE?
Adam, my younger brother, is beginning in his final year of middle school and he would probably kill for one more day of freedom. He quietly sobs on the floor beside me as I write this, afraid of loosing his independence.
Although I am satisfied with my summer, I can't keep my thoughts from where they run off to (probably somewhere that sleep is not). I am happy, though...a little angry at September for stealing August away...but, happy. I am moving towards my future and I am lucky that I see great things, even if I have forgotten how to hold a pencil.
Adam update: He is now breaking things.
To prevent you from turning into Adam, I have strewn together 3 tips to ward off that panicked feeling we all get when it is time to go back to school, after every kind of break. I realize that a lot of you have already started school (as I can see by the Ask Us submissions), but these tips will hopefully continue to be useful throughout the school year.
"Strut like you mean it"
Having confidence in yourself is much easier than you may think, and it is an essential for going back to school. Being confident has a lot to do with self love. Find the things that you love about your body, your personality, your soul, and focus on them. Knowing that you are a beautiful, walking piece of art is NOT arrogant. Everyone has flaws and we can appreciate them, but as women, making them the center of attention will only stifle our self esteem. I have a friend who is absolutely gorgeuos and I always catch myself comparing my looks to hers. Really, I don't want to be her - I just think I do. I have a different style and opinions, and I love that about myself. So as you strut down the hallway, feeling fresh in your new clothes, remember: no one can take away your beauty - we were given it without refund.
"I'm only here because my friends are"
Believe it or not, this is the answer I recieve from countless peers, after asking why they took a certain class. This is NOT okay. You should not be in a place you don't wish to be. Following the crowd will lead to confusion, a ton of "I wish I was Like her", and ultimately, ill preperation for the future. If you aren't seriously interested in a class that you chose as an elective, why are you there? I get it, you don't want to be alone, but I dropped that mentality a as soon as I noticed I wasn't happy. You have to put yourself first - who cares if you have to walk down a hallway alone (It's literally 10 feet).
If you want to start a blog or a youtube channel or get a job or participate in school activities, what is stopping you? Why are you dressing like her, if that isn't your style? Why are you wearing makeup, if you would rather save yourself a half hour of sleep every morning? Why aren't you eating, if you are hungry? If you are at a party that is totally not your scene, why are you there?
The simple answer is friends. You don't want to be independent, for fear of losing your leader. But what you may not realize is, by joining things that you love, you will be able to showcase your true self and be accepted by others like you. Listen to Alessia Cara's single "Here" and everything will fall into place. Remember that confidence you read about earlier? Having self assureness will allow you to realize what you want, and nothing will stop you from getting it.
"Do you have an extra pen?...Oh and a paper...and whiteout".
Don't be this girl if you don't have to! This was me, every day last year. Keep at least 3 things to write with and a notebook on you at all times. I used my laptop for taking notes, but not every teacher will allow this. Choose one method of note taking. Whether it be on lined paper in a binder or in a file on your computer, make sure they all end up in the same place, so you aren't going crazy during exam time. Exercise or stretch before or after school. It will keep you calm and energized, limiting your desire to be lazy and leave everything to the last minute.
I hope this issue will be a guide to diving head first into the void and returning to our robot lives of school, sleep, repeat.
Gracing our Cover this issue, is G AUR M, an amazing fashion designer team that I had the privelage of photographing and that you should totally go read about! We have a lot of interesting back to school posts and a lot of Friday Night Playlists that you can use to destress after these first couple weeks.
In an attempt to bring back the art zine, we are asking that you submit your fiction, poetry and artwork!
We also would love to read about your back to school stories! Be they horror stories or love stories, submit what you love!
If you haven't gotten the chance to create an account for our website you totally should! Members will soon have access to secret pages and awesome activities.
Final words of back to school advice: DO NOT CHANGE YOURSELF FOR OTHERS NO MATTER WHAT YOUR MOM SAYS.
Ps: The photo just makes me happy